YUVRAAJ
YELPING YUVAAS AND VILE ROTTEN EGG YOLKS‏

Produced/Directed by: Subhash GhaiLyrics By: GulzarMusic: AR RehmanCast: Salman Khan, Anil Kapoor, Katrina Kaif, Zayed Khan, Sp App:Mithun Chakraborty and Boman Irani

Reviewed By: Dr Usman Khawaja

If it was any consolation for the team that made Drona then let them celebrate as another contender for the worst movie of the year has arrived in the form of the worst movie ever by Ghai and the worst appearance and performance by Salman Khan in solid competition with Abhishek Bachchan of the Drona fame.

It will suffice to say this is a charade where the erstwhile showman has concocted a vile rotten omelette from the yolk of Taal and mixed it with a ludicrous tale of family greed and sibling rivalry where three brothers fight along with a train of relatives over the inheritance which poor mister Yoginder leaves to his dim-witted eldest son (unwittingly played by Anil Kapoor).

Salman Khan plays the middle brother and Zayed Khan the youngest, who are presumably not on good terms with their father and are left out of the will, I am sure the daddy saw Salman Khan with his golden highlights and the blonde wig which alternate paradoxically in the movie with huge silver ear-rings which make Katrina Kaifs jewellery look inconspicuous while he must have witnessed Zayed Khan doing the worst disco ever composed by A. R Rehman with the extremely original lyrics get on the dance floor with 50 half naked white men and women, that will be enough grounds to disqualify any one from my inheritance.

But that is just the beginning wait till Salman Khan starts shouting in irritation at Kaif while cooking in a kitchen, Mr. Ghai is so inept he shows them standing opposite each other for 5 minutes where Kaif stands 6 inches taller than mini Khan.

Boman Irani plays dad to Kaif like a Donald duck caricature and he is a super rich cardiologist in Innsbruck Austria where Salman Khan is a great singer and musician who romances Katrina Kaif in his spare time.

After singing some songs ripped off from Mozart and Beethoven symphonies they decide not to get married till Salman Khan has gained his inheritance and self respect, Mr. Boman Irani immediately decides to marry Kaif off to a mister Daniel but of course he is deceived by Salman Khan who destroys his plans.

There are loopholes and flaws in virtually every frame and the script is reminiscent of GHAR GHAR KI KAHANI-SUBHASH GHAI KI ZUBAANI-the only extra is the actors all look like cartoons.

The sole exception is Mr. Chakraborty who plays Sikander Mirza the lawyer appointed by the father to execute his will and make Anil Kapoor his Yuvraaj, but Mithun Chakraborty is wasted in a totally misconceived and miss directed project, he has to be cautious not to act in this trash in future as this is the worst cinema possible and though he looks dignified and acts well, that is no achievement as all the rest look like burlesque caricatures.

To top the mess Gulzar and A.R Rehman show how Bollywood can turn even intellectuals into creative bankruptcy as the lyrics are a chaotic jumble with cello and violins screaming cacophonously, the days of Taal and guru are gone with the wind and as for Dil Se do not even mention that classic. Gulzar actually comes up with deliriously comic lyric, which is almost the creations of an infantile mind and goes as; “Transgression is aggression” which almost makes you retarding in contempt that arrogance is ignorance.

Ghai demonstrates he is totally incompetent and the maker of Taal and Pardes needs to retire as he indulges into a shoddy murder conspiracy to kill Anil Kapoor with a ventolin inhaler who is playing the role of an retarded asthmatic man. Anil Kapoor and Mithun Chakraborty need to now boycott Mr Ghai movies for next 7 reincarnations.

The finale is so silly it had the audience laughing while Salman Khan was weeping and this was the rule rather than exception.

Allegedly Mithun was signed after the shoot completed in October 2008, and Ghai had known he had a huge turkey on hand, it is immoral to use and let yourself be used for any sum of money whatever be the amount to try to rescue one of the worst movies ever made and I hope we will not have to endure more blunders from Mithun like this in future.

As for Katrina Kaif and Salman Khan they are devoid o f any acting capacity whatsoever and while Salman Khan retires to become an anchor for TV, Kaif should stick to just doing dance items in miniskirts and Anil Kapoor should pray that he will get a decent script like race once in a while-there is no hope anywhere for Boman Irani and Zayed Khan as they make the audience yelp in pain and anguish just as Yuvraaj does with its yawning and woeful narrative and execution.

Watch it if you like to yawn sleep and yelp in the theatre as for me I am not going near a Salman or Ghai movie for eternity. RATING: ONE STAR

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