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hutbay
PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2003 8:30 pm 
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Joined: Sat Nov 02, 2002 6:54 pm
Posts: 95
Posted By:jimWho
Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 11:40 pm
Post subject: BOLLYWOOD = SILLYWOOD
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Bollywood truly qualifies for the title of "Trove of Crap". It makes us wonder -- What are the makers thinking when they make these movies. The name "Sillywood" comes with flying colours as an alternate name. Let me put down some silly trends in the movies nowadays.

1. The latest in Sillywood movies is that every movie name ends with an english translation. Like, "Shakti- The power (pronounced as shakti-daa-paa-ver)", "Talaash- The hunt begins", "Dil ka rishta- you will fall asleep" and so on. What I am saying is just becoz K3G started the trend doesn't mean that everybody should do it.

2. Almost all movies are based on "Love". If a person from another country were to watch our movies.. Indian movies would make Indians appear as love starved people. Aishwarya in her latest movie venture "Dil ka rishtaa" sings "Tum kab aogay" (When will you come and sweep me off my feet) in a fund-raiser for kids!!! Does that even remotely make sense?? Ever since QSQT, all our movies are based on ONE theme... Love. Some movie makers have tried their hand at uniqueness by making movie plots with a twist...love triangles..love rectangles and so on which we can call as the love geometry.

3. Have you watched any Govinda movies? Can you even make sense of them? In one movie the heroine clearly says she is going to Paris and then magically they all end up in Switzerland. Even the dialogues have references to switzerland!! Are the makers of the movie blind and retarded??

4. "Smartness" is redefined in Indian movies. Heroes who are extremely manipulative, cunning and who don't have any other work other than chasing women, professing their love are considered to be smart. The next time you watch a sillywood movie.. ask yourself a question "What does this guy(hero) do for a living?"

5. Also wealth building capabilities of heroes are amazing. Sunil shetty disappers for a couple of years and suddently turns up as a multi billionaire in a movie.. How can anyone do it in 2 years!!!

6. Sillywood fight sequences defy laws of physics. One knock by the hero and the villian goes flying from 1st floor to second floor. Some goondas even go whirling through air!!

7. Sillywood Dance sequences are old and repetitive. Where else would you have a 60 inch waist dance choreographers?? Also.. Out of the blue groups of guys and gals appear and start dancing in tandem with the hero and heroine and then walk off in the end of the song as if nothing happened!!

8. I met a producer for a movie recently. He told me, " We are making a movie for you youngsters. Its a story of college going kids falling in love. and parents opposing it.." And I thought to myself..what?? Again?? How many times are you morons going to make the same movie themes with different heroes and heroines????

9. What about this newer trend of heroes and heroines dancing away in the streets of switzerland? It is more embarassing than entertainment. The only time I have seen people dance in the streets is when there is something seriously wrong with their heads. I wonder what the swiss might be thinking of Indians!!!!

10. If the concept of Love is becoming stale..not to worry. Sillywood has a solution. Blatantly copy some english movie.. with a dash of love. If copying a movie is shameful..Sillywood has a solution. Copy several english movies and make a cocktail.

11. Have you been having your share of Deja-Vus lately? If not watch a sillywood movie. You will spend you time saying.. oh! that scene is from matrix.. this is from romancing the stone... and so on.

12. We have 3 versions of english languages..one the British english, second is the American english and the third is Sillywood english. "My Lord" is pronunced as "Maay Lord" and "Minister" become "Manister SAAhab"!!

13. Ram Gopal verma seems to live his fantasy of "girl and guy alone on an island" through his movies. Most of his movies have a girl and guy lost in a some jungle or a desert or some place with somebody chasing them.

14. Indian movies have degraded our finest commandoes AKA "Black cats" to a bunch of idiots. The ease with which they are whacked by some guy with a knife is amazing! Most of these guys who play black cats have pot bellies. Also notice how they all run next to each other firing their guns. They are most likely to shoot each other in their butts if they pull such stunts in reality.

15. "Smoking gun" has a literal meaning in Sillywood movies. All the guns only release smoke. You never see any fire whatsoever. Some of the older movies have plastic guns and some newer ones have heroes shooting the bad guys with air guns!!

16. The furniture used in fights are so flimsy and unrealistic!! They seem to crumble the moment someone lands on it!

17. Also notice in Sillywood movies, charecters who are hurt or shot seem to know when exactly they are going to die. Instead of keeping their mouths shut and conserve their energy, they go through lengthy dialogues! Even the people who are trying to save them don't call the ambulance or try first aid, instead keep screaming "Nahi, tum mujhe choodke nahi jaa sakte"(No! You cannot leave me and go!).. till the person dies!!!

18. After a spate of junk movies in the past few YEARS which don't make any sense what-so-ever, makes one wonder why Bollywood movies even bother to put the so called disclaimers like
"Any resemblence of the charecters to any person living or dead is purely coincidental." In reality I would doubt that people as DUMB-ASSED like the charecters would really exist! How many times do we say to our girlfriends/spouses/fiances..

Honey..lets express our love for each other by singing a five minute song..lyrics composed impromptu... and running like a couple of maniacs in the streets of Switzerland/Canada/America... sometimes dancing on the sidewalk and sometimes dancing in the middle of the roads. I will wear a multi-colored outfit which makes me look like a javanese parrot and you wear the shortest of clothes preferably a mini skirt or a see-thro saree... and then lets dance on snow capped mountains where the temperature is cold enough to freeze a dinosaur.

19. David Dhawan has apparantly never seen an armoured tank! In his latest junk " Ek aur Ek gyrah" the tank seems to be a huge camouflage painted cardboard box, stuck on top of a jeep or a car, with a big water pipe sticking out. Inside the tank the space is shown as big as a room in which Sanjay and Govinda sit on chairs, in front of some fancy blinking lights and sing songs!!

David Dhawan and others who are inspired by him should apologize to people for showing movies which are not worth their money. As a part of their apology, they should watch their movies again and again till they promise not to make anymore movies!!
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Kishi6406
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Fri May 23, 2003 9:46 pm 
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Joined: Fri Jan 10, 2003 11:50 pm
Posts: 285
Wooh! Yes! Finally someone knows how I feel!

And you notice in Taran Adarsh's Box Office Summary's, the same directors always say "The audience changes every Friday, they want something new, they want to be entertained."

Yet, anytime a film becomes a hit, every director tries to follow the trend. And they end up putting out the same crap.
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Aryan
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2003 5:18 am 
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Joined: Wed Dec 05, 2001 12:45 pm
Posts: 500
Location: Singapore
Quote:
6. Sillywood fight sequences defy laws of physics. One knock by the
> hero and the villian goes flying from 1st floor to second floor. Some
> goondas even go whirling through air!!.


This happens in Hollywood too and is even more rampant in Hongkong films.

Quote:
7. Sillywood Dance sequences are old and repetitive. Where else would
> you have a 60 inch waist dance choreographers?? Also.. Out of the blue
> groups of guys and gals appear and start dancing in tandem with the
> hero and heroine and then walk off in the end of the song as if
> nothing happened!!.


What do 60 inch waist choregraphers have anything to do with their
creativity? Old and repititive? So who does the new and original stuff? Britney Spears? Having background dancers in a musical seems alright to me if
properly executed, e.g. Rangeela, Dil Chahta Hai - because the film is a
musical and the audience knows that. We know that the song sequences are
suspension of logic and it needs a somewhat sophisticated audience to
understand that. After all, no one complains when Andrew Lloyd Webber does
it!

Quote:
13. Ram Gopal verma seems to live his fantasy of "girl and guy alone
> on an island" through his movies. Most of his movies have a girl and
> guy lost in a some jungle or a desert or some place with somebody
> chasing them..


So?

Spike Lee seems to
mostly make films about blacks. Steven Spielberg seems to make mostly Sci-Fi
films.

I can't stop anyone from watching only bad movies and then making assumptions about Indian films. Still, I can't agree more with him regarding Govinda, David Dhawan and
Switzerland.
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congress
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2003 5:26 am 
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Joined: Tue Dec 04, 2001 11:29 am
Posts: 1028
Location: Singapore
[quote="hutbay"][/quote]
Ever since QSQT, all our movies are based on ONE theme... Love. Some movie makers have tried their hand at uniqueness by making movie plots with a twist...love triangles..love rectangles and so on which we can call as the love geometry.

Yup we were making movie like The Matrix before QSQT...

3. Have you watched any Govinda movies? Can you even make sense of them? In one movie the heroine clearly says she is going to Paris and then magically they all end up in Switzerland. Even the dialogues have references to switzerland!! Are the makers of the movie blind and retarded??

If you care to even watch Govinda movie then you are as dumb as him...

13. Ram Gopal verma seems to live his fantasy of "girl and guy alone on an island" through his movies. Most of his movies have a girl and guy lost in a some jungle or a desert or some place with somebody chasing them.

So Ram Gopal Varma is one bad director...I noticed that...the guy is so different, I mean what's up with that...can't he make a two brother separated in the mela story just like the rest of the industry...

17. Also notice in Sillywood movies, charecters who are hurt or shot seem to know when exactly they are going to die. Instead of keeping their mouths shut and conserve their energy, they go through lengthy dialogues! Even the people who are trying to save them don't call the ambulance or try first aid, instead keep screaming "Nahi, tum mujhe choodke nahi jaa sakte"(No! You cannot leave me and go!).. till the person dies!!!

As far I know Amitabh Bachchan has always done that in his movies but I have yet to read an article REMOTELY CRITICIZING him...instead he is the greatest icon in Indian film industry...so don't you dare say anything about Aby Baby or Faddy Baby will come after you..oopsss!!
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spike86
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sat May 24, 2003 1:55 pm 
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Joined: Sun Dec 08, 2002 4:29 pm
Posts: 672
Location: NY
Quote:
16. The furniture used in fights are so flimsy and unrealistic!! They seem to crumble the moment someone lands on it!


Oh no! poor bollywood, how can they make bad furniture. I guess this idiot haven't seen crouching tiger, lethal weapon and all the jet li's english crap movies. :sus:

Quote:
17. Also notice in Sillywood movies, charecters who are hurt or shot seem to know when exactly they are going to die. Instead of keeping their mouths shut and conserve their energy, they go through lengthy dialogues! Even the people who are trying to save them don't call the ambulance or try first aid, instead keep screaming "Nahi, tum mujhe choodke nahi jaa sakte"(No! You cannot leave me and go!).. till the person dies!!!


MATRIX-FREAKIN'-RELOADED! :oo:
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mhafner
 Post subject:
PostPosted: Sun May 25, 2003 6:28 pm 
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Joined: Mon Dec 03, 2001 8:14 pm
Posts: 1086
hutbay wrote:
Posted By:jimWho
Posted: Tue May 13, 2003 11:40 pm
Post subject: BOLLYWOOD = SILLYWOOD
IndiaFM Post Link
9. What about this newer trend of heroes and heroines dancing away in the streets of switzerland? It is more embarassing than entertainment. The only time I have seen people dance in the streets is when there is something seriously wrong with their heads. I wonder what the swiss might be thinking of Indians!!!!

The Indian tourism is quite appreciated. It brings in money.
:D
The alpine farmers are used now to dancing on the
cow pizzas in the Heidi meadows. Bollywood films are
met with amused curiosity. Most "Indians" here are actually
Tamils and appreciated as modest workers that usually
don't cause problems like other 'foreigners'.
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